just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
