she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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