You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
