I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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