a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
