Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
