clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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