Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
