I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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