Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
