I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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