All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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