it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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