But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
