Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
