what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
