Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dicks are not precious.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
