Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
