I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize