It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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