$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
