So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
