WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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