clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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