I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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