so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
