Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Even my vagina gasped.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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