Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
