Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
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