just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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