ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
