is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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