im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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