I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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