rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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