I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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