plz talk dirty to me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
