Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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