When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
