WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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