she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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