You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
