shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
