u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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