Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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