I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
