I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
