Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
