I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
