Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
