ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
