Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize