You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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