why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
