I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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