Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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