I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
