I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
