I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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