They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
