Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
