so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
