Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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