ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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